I was on a zoom session with Fabienne Fredrickson of Boldheart Business and she said that in her house they don’t say “have a great day” they say “make it a great day”. When I heard this I instantly wrote it on a post-it note and stuck it to my wall.
This reminds me that I am in control of my mood, reactions and behaviour and I have the ability to make it a great day.
Have you ever woken up on the wrong side of the bed where everything that could go wrong, does?
Imagine this; You wake up late because your alarm clock didn’t go off, today you have an important meeting with your boss and some new clients and you haven’t finished prepping for it.
You rush out the door and race off to work, only to remember you have left your house keys in the kitchen. This is the worst day.
Ignoring this you make your way to work. You hurriedly sweep into the office and switch on your PC, you still have time to make some changes and print off the documents for the meeting.
Your PC is slow to turn on and then you notice it has a Windows update and this is going to take some time. Your heart is pounding, you are agitated, unable to focus.
You eventually get the work completed and printed but you are 10 minutes late for the meeting. This is the worst day.
Your boss calls you into his office and has some honest words with you and you feel utterly miserable.
Just then a work colleague walks past you, you say ‘hi’ but they walk right past and ignore you. You think, ‘Another person that hates me’, or ‘what have I done now, I can’t catch a break today!”.
On any other day the silence of your work colleague would have raised alarm bells as they are usually very sociable. Instead of focusing on yourself, you would have made the effort to find them and check they were ok.
Because of your ‘bad day’ you were in a downward spiral and you interpreted the day’s events based on your mood and your attitude.
Now I’m not saying you could have changed any of the events of this ‘worst day ever’, but you could have taken some time to reset your mood, taken a few moments to distance yourself from the event and not let your mood determine your thoughts. After all, you still have to work out how you are going to get into your house tonight without your keys!
The right mindset is a growth mindset that helps you to take the next step and the next step after that. Don’t let your inner voice belittle you. And don’t let anyone else belittle you for that matter.
How does the right mindset help you?
“…the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value. ” Carol Dweck , Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
How can you change your current mindset?
- If you think of your mindset as a voice, what is it saying to you?
Pay attention to your thoughts and remember they are not facts. How are you talking to yourself when you are faced with a challenge? Are you supportive and encouraging, “other people have faced worse than this and got through it, so can I”.
Or are you self-sabotaging yourself ” you are a fraud and people will find out soon and then you will be a failure”
- When you are faced with obstacles and challenges, how can you choose growth?
Now that you can hear your mindset’s ‘voice’ and you should realise that these thoughts are in your power to change. Can I learn from this obstacle and make things better? Has anyone else faced this problem and how did they overcome it?
- Don’t be afraid to talk back to your mindset voice and reframe your situation.
Reframing is simply restating the problem or inner voice in a more positive way. For example, “you are a fraud and people will soon find out and you will be a failure” could be “I’m not sure if I will succeed right now, but I can learn to succeed with time and effort. And most successful people fail before they succeed.”
If this proves difficult try adding the word ‘yet’ on to any fears about your talents. ” I can’t do this”, becomes ” I can’t do this yet”, which means you will soon learn.
- You can quieten your inner voice with your actions.
You’ve told your inner voice to pipe down and let you try, now you need to take some action towards your goals.